im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
