one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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