the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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