Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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