I smell stomach acid.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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