we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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