Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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