I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
