Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We left the knife in your bed.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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