i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
