I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
