so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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