SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
nutella sex= disaster
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
