Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
