And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
