I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
