...so i touched it.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
No subtext here. People are naked.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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