i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
