Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
