This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
