and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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