how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
