fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
