he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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