watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
