they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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