oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
