Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize