IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
