she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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