I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
