Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
