so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
