I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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