...so i touched it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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