Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
