The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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