we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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