Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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