Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
