The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
