Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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