I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
