I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
