piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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