i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
only you would photoshop your dick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
