So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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