God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
