Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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