I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
