Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
