I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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