Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
