I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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