Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
