Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
