I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
