i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
