Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize