I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
