I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
