You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
