thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
