i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
