Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
