so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
