I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
