so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
