brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
How does it feel to date your dad?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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